Solent Family Mediation assist families in conflict, particularly those divorcing or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more cost-effective than heading to court. It reduces dispute, and your family remains in control of arrangements over kids, home and financing.

We work right throughout England and Wales and our family mediation service has more than thirty years’ experience offering professional, expert family mediation services.

The 4 Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No two marriages are the same, and so it only follows that no 2 divorces will be the same, either.

In fact, if you’re a woman who’s considering divorce, you have a number of alternatives about how to continue. In general terms, you require to think about 4 broad classifications of divorce alternatives: Do-It-Yourself (DIY), Mediation, Collaborative and Lawsuits. Let’s take a look at the advantages and disadvantages of each one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The very best recommendations I can offer you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

The only circumstance I can imagine when a Diy divorce might make any possible sense, may be in a case where the marital relationship lasted only 2 or 3 years and there are no kids, little or no assets/debts to be divided, similar incomes and no alimony. In a case like that, a Diy divorce might be accomplished rather quickly and cheaply.


In divorce mediation, a divorcing couple works with a neutral arbitrator who helps both parties come to a contract on all aspects of their divorce. Both parties still require to seek advice from with their own, private attorneys throughout the mediation and prior to signing the last divorce settlement arrangement.

Here are a couple of pros and cons to consider before choosing if mediation will work for you.

On the “pro” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Lead to a much better long-term relationship with your ex-husband considering that you will not “battle” in court.
  • Be much easier on children considering that the divorce proceedings might be more serene.
  • Speed up an arrangement.
  • Reduce expenses.
  • Help you stay in control of your divorce due to the fact that you are making the decisions (and the court isn’t).
  • Enable more discretion. Mediation is personal; litigated divorce is public.

Nevertheless, on the “con” side, divorce mediation might also:

  • Lose time and cash. If settlements fail, you’ll require to begin all over.
  • Be insufficient or unduly beneficial to one spouse. If the mediator is unskilled or prejudiced towards your spouse, the outcome could be undesirable for you.
  • Result in an unenforceable agreement. A mediation agreement that’s lopsided or improperly drafted can be challenged.
  • Cause legal complications. Any issue of law will still need to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to uncover particular possessions. Since all financial information is willingly disclosed and there is no subpoena of records, your other half might potentially hide assets/income.
  • Strengthen unhealthy behavior patterns. If one spouse is dominating and the other is submissive, the last settlement may not be reasonable.
  • Fuel emotions. Mediation might increase negative behavior of a partner with a tendency for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples frequently hear about the marvels of mediation and how it is reportedly a much better, less controversial, less costly and more “dignified” way to get a divorce. My biggest issue with mediation is that the sole function and objective of the arbitrator is to get the celebrations to come to an agreement– any arrangement! Unless both parties can be fairly affordable and friendly (and if they can be, why are they getting separated???), I believe that mediation is typically not a viable alternative for most ladies.

Collaborative Divorce

Basically, collective divorce takes place when a couple accepts work out a divorce settlement without going to court.

During a collective divorce both you and your partner will each employ a lawyer who has been trained in the collaborative divorce procedure. The function of the lawyers in a collective divorce is rather different than in a standard divorce. Each attorney encourages and helps their client in working out a settlement arrangement. You will consult with your attorney individually and you and your lawyer will also meet with your hubby and his lawyer. The collaborative process may likewise include other neutral professionals such as a divorce financial organizer who will help both of you resolve your monetary problems and a coach or therapist who can assist assist both of you through child custody and other mentally charged problems.

In the collaborative process, you, your husband and your particular lawyers all need to sign a contract that needs that both attorneys withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if lawsuits is threatened. If this happens, both you and your husband should begin all over once again and discover brand-new attorneys. Neither celebration can use the exact same lawyers again!

Even if the collective procedure succeeds, you will generally need to appear in family court so a judge can sign the arrangement. But the legal process can be much quicker and more economical than standard litigation if the collaborative procedure works.

However, I have actually found that the collective method often does not work well to settle divorces including complicated financial situations or when there are significant properties. In collective divorce, simply as in mediation, all financial details (earnings, assets and liabilities) is divulged willingly. What’s more, numerous high net worth divorces involve organizations and professional practices where it is fairly easy to hide assets and income.

So … as a general guideline, my suggestion is this:

Do NOT utilize any of these very first 3 choices– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You presume your hubby is hiding assets/income.
  • Your husband is domineering, and you have trouble speaking up or you hesitate to voice your viewpoints.
  • There is a history or hazard of domestic violence (physical and/or psychological) towards you and/or your kids.
  • You or your partner has a drug/alcohol dependency.

Litigated Divorce

The 4th divorce choice is the most typical. Nowadays, the majority of separating couples select the “standard” model of prosecuted divorce.

Remember, though, “litigated” does not suggest the divorce ends up in court. The large majority of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement contract. “Lawsuits” is a legal term meaning ‘performing a claim.’

In 80 percent of cases, the decision to divorce is unilateral– one celebration wants the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, develops an adversarial scenario right from the start and often disqualifies mediation and collective divorce, because both techniques rely on the full cooperation of both parties and the voluntary disclosure of all monetary details.

Plainly, if you are beginning with an adversarial and highly mentally charged situation, the chances are extremely high that partnership or mediation might stop working. Why take the threat of going those paths when odds are they might fail, wasting your money and time?

The most essential and most hard parts of any divorce are concerning an agreement on child custody, department of properties and liabilities and spousal support payments (how much and for the length of time). You want your attorney to be a highly experienced mediator, you do not want somebody who is excessively combative, ready to battle over anything and everything. An excessively contentious technique will not just lengthen the pain and significantly increase your legal charges, it will likewise be mentally detrimental to everyone involved, particularly the children.

Remember: Most divorce attorneys (or a minimum of the ones I would advise) will constantly strive to come to a sensible settlement with the other party. But if they can’t come to an affordable settlement or if the other celebration is entirely unreasonable then, sadly, litigating, or threatening to do so, might be the only way to solve these issues.

If you have actually attempted whatever else, and you do end up in court, things can get truly nasty and hostile. Up until that point both lawyers were “arbitrators,” attempting to get the parties to compromise and concern some affordable resolution. Once in court, the function of each attorney changes. Negotiations and compromise move to the back burner. Their new job is to “win” and get the best possible result for their client.

And don’t forget, as soon as you’re in court, it’s a judge who knows really little about you and your family that will make the decisions about your children, your home, your cash and how you live your life. That’s a huge danger for both parties to take– and that’s likewise why the hazard of going to court is typically such a great deterrent.

Here’s my last word of recommendations about divorce options: Weigh divorce alternatives thoroughly. If you have doubts, it is excellent to be prepared with “Strategy B” which would be the litigated divorce.

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