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Creating a Parental Plan

Every family is unique and the kind of parenting plan you develop for your kids should be designed to suit your specific family circumstances.

Parenting values

Cooperative separated parenting is a process that involves dialogue and planning, so that you can develop a common set of values. By having common parenting values, things get easier for children because they get consistent messages and do not get a lot of exposure to high levels of conflicts between their parents. A perfect starting point for you is to spend most of your time thinking about your relationship with your kids, what you wanted when you gave birth to them, what are your current expectations for them and what you would like them to be when they become adults. You should also consider what you would like them to experience, attain and know about the world. By considering the kind of people you would like your children to grow into, this will help you know your parenting values. It is important that both of you try to respect the parenting values of each other as you look forward to agree on a common parenting value system. As you do this, you need to recognize that you cannot have identical parenting values. By understanding this, you will be able to reach a common parenting value that will be beneficial to your children.

Plan for cooperative separated parenting

Cooperative parenting will depend on how effective you will be able to deal with conflicts at the beginning of your separation. It also depends on how well you improve your parental communication and remain flexible.

As you plan for cooperative separated parenting you need to:

• Agree and stick to a specific schedule that is effective for your kids.

• Share the parental power to make decisions.

• Be ready and willing to use same rules in each house.

• Be ready to give support to the other parent in case things are very difficult between the parent and the child.

The cooperative separated parenting plan

Parenting plans can be used for recording or formalizing broader values and other detailed arrangements. You should be prepared to get involved in detailed planning before you are ready to sit down and develop the parenting plan.

The parenting plan could cover the following:

• Agreement on how the children will school.

• Agreement on holiday plans.

• How communication should be carried between your children and their other parent.

• Introduction of new partners in life.

• How parenting time should be shared between both of you.

• How your children are to be guided on discipline matters.

Bottom line

In order to come up with a comprehensive separated parenting plan, you can seek assistance from family consultants or lawyers. Such professionals will help you with a template of a parenting plan which you can adapt to suit your specific family needs. This is important in order to ensure that you attain a separated family unit which is intact. With such a plan your children will be able to grow well and never be affected by the separation.

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