Solent Family Mediation assist households in conflict, particularly those separating or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more affordable than heading to court. It minimizes dispute, and your household stays in control of arrangements over children, residential or commercial property and finance.

We work right throughout England and Wales and our family mediation service has more than 30 years’ experience offering expert, professional family mediation services.

The Four Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No 2 marital relationships are the same, and so it only follows that no 2 divorces will be the same, either.

In fact, if you’re a female who’s considering divorce, you have numerous options about how to continue. In general terms, you require to think about 4 broad classifications of divorce options: Do-It-Yourself (DIY), Mediation, Collaborative and Lawsuits. Let’s take a look at the benefits and drawbacks of every one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The very best recommendations I can provide you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

Divorce is very complicated, both lawfully and economically. You can quickly make mistakes, and frequently those mistakes are permanent. The only circumstance I can imagine when a Diy divorce might make any possible sense, might be in a case where the marriage lasted just two or 3 years and there are no kids, little or no assets/debts to be divided, equivalent incomes and no alimony. In a case like that, a Do-It-Yourself divorce could be achieved quite quickly and inexpensively. I would still highly recommend that each celebration have their own separate lawyer review the final documents.


In divorce mediation, a divorcing couple works with a neutral arbitrator who helps both celebrations pertain to a contract on all aspects of their divorce. The mediator may or may not be an attorney, however he/she must be incredibly fluent in divorce and family law. In addition, it is critical for the conciliator to be neutral and not promote for either party. Both parties still need to seek advice from their own, specific attorneys throughout the mediation and prior to signing the final divorce settlement contract.

Here are a couple of pros and cons to consider before deciding if mediation will work for you.

On the “professional” side, divorce mediation might:

  • Result in a much better long-term relationship with your ex-husband because you will not “fight” in court.
  • Be much easier on kids given that the divorce proceedings might be more peaceful.
  • Accelerate an arrangement.
  • Reduce costs.
  • Assist you stay in control of your divorce due to the fact that you are deciding (and the court isn’t).
  • Enable more discretion. Mediation is private; litigated divorce is public.

However, on the “con” side, divorce mediation might likewise:

  • Lose time and money. If settlements fail, you’ll need to begin all over.
  • Be insufficient or unduly favorable to one partner. If the mediator is inexperienced or biased towards your husband, the result could be undesirable for you.
  • Lead to an unenforceable arrangement. A mediation agreement that’s uneven or improperly drafted can be challenged.
  • Lead to legal complications. Any problem of law will still need to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to discover specific properties. Since all monetary info is willingly revealed and there is no subpoena of records, your spouse could potentially conceal assets/income.
  • Reinforce unhealthy habits patterns. If one partner is controling and the other is submissive, the final settlement may not be fair.
  • Fuel feelings. Mediation might increase negative habits of a partner with a propensity for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples often hear about the marvels of mediation and how it is reportedly a better, less contentious, less pricey and more “dignified” way to get a divorce. My biggest issue with mediation is that the sole function and objective of the mediator is to get the parties to come to an agreement– any agreement! Unless both parties can be fairly sensible and amicable (and if they can be, why are they getting separated???), I believe that mediation is generally not a viable option for most females.

Collaborative Divorce

Put simply, collective divorce happens when a couple accepts exercise a divorce settlement without litigating.

Throughout a collective divorce both you and your hubby will each hire an attorney who has actually been trained in the collective divorce procedure. The function of the lawyers in a collective divorce is quite various than in a conventional divorce.

In the collective procedure, you, your partner and your particular attorneys all must sign an agreement that needs that both attorneys withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if lawsuits is threatened. If this happens, both you and your husband need to begin all over again and discover brand-new lawyers. Neither celebration can utilize the exact same lawyers again!

Even if the collective process succeeds, you will typically have to appear in family court so a judge can sign the arrangement. But the legal process can be much quicker and more economical than conventional litigation if the collaborative process works.

Sadly, however, I have actually found that the collective approach typically does not work well to settle divorces including complicated monetary situations or when there are considerable assets. In collective divorce, just as in mediation, all financial information (income, possessions and liabilities) is disclosed voluntarily. Frequently the husband manages the “bag strings,” and the spouse is generally uninformed of the details of their financial scenario. When this type of inequality exists, the door is frequently wide open for the husband to hide possessions. What’s more, lots of high net worth divorces involve companies and expert practices where it is relatively simple to hide properties and earnings. Additionally, the problem of valuation can be rather controversial.

… as a basic guideline, my recommendation is this:

Do NOT use any of these very first 3 choices– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You believe your other half is hiding assets/income.
  • Your spouse is imperious, and you have trouble speaking up or you’re afraid to voice your viewpoints.
  • There is a history or threat of domestic violence (physical and/or psychological) towards you and/or your children.
  • You or your husband has a drug/alcohol dependency.

Litigated Divorce

The 4th divorce alternative is the most typical. Nowadays, the majority of divorcing couples pick the “standard” design of litigated divorce.

Bear in mind, though, “prosecuted” does not indicate the divorce ends up in court. In fact, the vast majority of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement arrangement. “Lawsuits” is a legal term meaning ‘performing a suit.’

In 80 percent of cases, the choice to divorce is unilateral– one party desires the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, develops an adversarial situation right from the start and frequently disqualifies mediation and collaborative divorce, considering that both approaches rely on the full cooperation of both celebrations and the voluntary disclosure of all financial info.

Clearly, if you are beginning with an adversarial and extremely emotionally charged circumstance, the possibilities are very high that partnership or mediation may fail. Why take the danger of going those routes when odds are they might stop working, squandering your money and time?

The most essential and most difficult parts of any divorce are coming to a contract on child custody, department of assets and liabilities and alimony payments (just how much and for how long). Although you desire your lawyer to be a highly experienced mediator, you don’t desire someone who is extremely combative, ready to eliminate over anything and whatever. An extremely controversial technique will not only extend the pain and considerably increase your legal fees, it will likewise be mentally destructive to everybody included, especially the children.

Remember: The majority of divorce lawyers (or at least the ones I would recommend) will always aim to come to a sensible settlement with the other celebration. However if they can’t concern an affordable settlement or if the other celebration is completely unreasonable then, unfortunately, litigating, or threatening to do so, might be the only way to solve these issues.

If you have actually attempted everything else, and you do wind up in court, things can get truly nasty and hostile. Up until that point both lawyers were “mediators,” trying to get the parties to compromise and pertain to some sensible resolution. When in court, the role of each lawyer modifications. Settlements and compromise relocate to the back burner. Their new task is to “win” and get the very best possible result for their client.

And do not forget, when you’re in court, it’s a judge who knows really little about you and your family that will make the final decisions about your children, your home, your money and how you live your life. That’s a very big threat for both celebrations to take– and that’s also why the hazard of going to court is normally such a great deterrent.

Here’s my last word of recommendations about divorce options: Weigh divorce choices thoroughly. If you have doubts, it is good to be prepared with “Strategy B” which would be the prosecuted divorce.

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