Solent Family Mediation help families in conflict, especially those separating or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more economical than heading to court. It lowers conflict, and your household remains in control of arrangements over children, property and financing.

We work right across England and Wales and our family mediation service has more than 30 years’ experience providing expert, expert family mediation services.

The Four Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No 2 marriages are the same, and so it only follows that no two divorces will be the same, either.

In fact, if you’re a lady who’s contemplating divorce, you have a number of choices about how to proceed. In general terms, you require to consider 4 broad categories of divorce alternatives: Do-It-Yourself (Do It Yourself), Mediation, Collaborative and Litigation. Let’s have a look at the advantages and disadvantages of every one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The very best recommendations I can provide you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

The only scenario I can envision when a Diy divorce may make any possible sense, might be in a case where the marital relationship lasted just 2 or three years and there are no kids, little or no assets/debts to be divided, equivalent incomes and no spousal support. In a case like that, a Diy divorce could be achieved quite quickly and inexpensively.


In divorce mediation, a divorcing couple deals with a neutral conciliator who helps both parties concern an arrangement on all elements of their divorce. The arbitrator might or may not be an attorney, however he/she must be exceptionally fluent in divorce and family law. In addition, it is crucial for the conciliator to be neutral and not promote for either celebration. Both parties still need to speak with their own, individual lawyers throughout the mediation and prior to signing the final divorce settlement arrangement.

Here are a few advantages and disadvantages to consider before deciding if mediation will work for you.

On the “pro” side, divorce mediation might:

  • Lead to a much better long-lasting relationship with your ex-husband because you will not “combat” in court.
  • Be simpler on children since the divorce procedures might be more serene.
  • Speed up a contract.
  • Reduce costs.
  • Help you remain in control of your divorce because you are deciding (and the court isn’t).
  • Enable more discretion. Mediation is private; litigated divorce is public.

However, on the “con” side, divorce mediation may likewise:

  • Waste time and cash. If negotiations fail, you’ll require to start all over.
  • Be insufficient or unduly beneficial to one spouse. If the arbitrator is unskilled or prejudiced towards your other half, the outcome could be undesirable for you.
  • Result in an unenforceable agreement. A mediation arrangement that’s lopsided or improperly drafted can be challenged.
  • Result in legal complications. Any issue of law will still need to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to uncover particular assets. Since all monetary info is voluntarily revealed and there is no subpoena of records, your hubby could possibly conceal assets/income.
  • Reinforce unhealthy habits patterns. If one spouse is controling and the other is submissive, the final settlement might not be reasonable.
  • Fuel feelings. Mediation might increase unfavorable habits of a partner with a propensity for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples often hear about the marvels of mediation and how it is reportedly a much better, less contentious, less costly and more “dignified” method to get a divorce. Nevertheless, my biggest problem with mediation is that the sole function and objective of the arbitrator is to get the parties to come to a contract– any contract! Keep in mind, the arbitrator can not offer any recommendations. All they can do is try to get you to agree. Not all arrangements are great contracts, and in truth, in many cases, no arrangement is much better than a bad agreement. Unless both parties can be relatively affordable and amicable (and if they can be, why are they getting divorced???), I believe that mediation is normally not a feasible option for the majority of ladies.

Collective Divorce

Simply put, collective divorce takes place when a couple agrees to exercise a divorce settlement without litigating.

During a collaborative divorce both you and your spouse will each hire an attorney who has been trained in the collective divorce procedure. The function of the attorneys in a collective divorce is rather various than in a standard divorce. Each attorney encourages and helps their customer in negotiating a settlement agreement. You will meet with your attorney separately and you and your lawyer will likewise meet with your husband and his lawyer. The collaborative process might likewise involve other neutral professionals such as a divorce financial coordinator who will help both of you overcome your financial issues and a coach or therapist who can assist guide both of you through kid custody and other emotionally charged concerns.

In the collective process, you, your partner and your particular lawyers all need to sign an arrangement that needs that both attorneys withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if litigation is threatened. If this occurs, both you and your other half need to start all over again and discover new lawyers. Neither party can utilize the same lawyers again!

Even if the collaborative procedure is successful, you will usually have to appear in family court so a judge can sign the contract. The legal procedure can be much quicker and less pricey than traditional litigation if the collective procedure works.

However, I have discovered that the collaborative technique frequently does not work well to settle divorces including complicated monetary situations or when there are substantial assets. In collaborative divorce, simply as in mediation, all financial details (income, properties and liabilities) is revealed willingly. What’s more, many high net worth divorces include organizations and expert practices where it is fairly simple to conceal properties and earnings.

… as a basic guideline, my recommendation is this:

Do NOT use any of these first three options– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You think your spouse is concealing assets/income.
  • Your spouse is prideful, and you have difficulty speaking up or you hesitate to voice your viewpoints.
  • There is a history or threat of domestic violence (physical and/or mental) towards you and/or your kids.
  • You or your partner has a drug/alcohol addiction.

Litigated Divorce

The fourth divorce choice is the most typical. These days, the majority of divorcing couples pick the “conventional” design of prosecuted divorce.

Keep in mind, however, “litigated” does not imply the divorce winds up in court. The large majority of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement contract. “Lawsuits” is a legal term meaning ‘carrying out a suit.’

In 80 percent of cases, the decision to divorce is unilateral– one celebration desires the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, develops an adversarial situation right from the start and often disqualifies mediation and collective divorce, given that both approaches rely on the full cooperation of both parties and the voluntary disclosure of all financial information.

Plainly, if you are starting with an adversarial and extremely emotionally charged scenario, the opportunities are really high that partnership or mediation may fail. Why take the threat of going those routes when chances are they might stop working, wasting your money and time?

The most important and most difficult parts of any divorce are concerning a contract on child custody, department of possessions and liabilities and spousal support payments (just how much and for for how long). You desire your lawyer to be a highly skilled mediator, you do not want somebody who is excessively combative, all set to combat over anything and everything. An extremely contentious approach will not only lengthen the discomfort and substantially increase your legal charges, it will likewise be emotionally harmful to everybody included, specifically the kids.

Keep in mind: Most divorce lawyers (or at least the ones I would advise) will constantly make every effort to come to a reasonable settlement with the other celebration. If they can’t come to an affordable settlement or if the other celebration is completely unreasonable then, unfortunately, going to court, or threatening to do so, may be the only way to fix these concerns.

Up up until that point both lawyers were “arbitrators,” attempting to get the parties to jeopardize and come to some reasonable resolution. When in court, the role of each lawyer changes.

And do not forget, as soon as you’re in court, it’s a judge who knows really little about you and your family that will make the final decisions about your children, your residential or commercial property, your money and how you live your life. That’s a huge threat for both parties to take– which’s likewise why the danger of going to court is usually such a great deterrent.

Here’s my last word of suggestions about divorce alternatives: Weigh divorce options thoroughly. If you have doubts, it is good to be ready with “Strategy B” which would be the prosecuted divorce.

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