Solent Family Mediation help households in conflict, specifically those separating or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more affordable than heading to court. It reduces dispute, and your family remains in control of plans over children, residential or commercial property and finance.

We work right throughout England and Wales and our family mediation service has over thirty years’ experience offering professional, expert family mediation services.

The Four Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No 2 marital relationships are the same, and so it just follows that no two divorces will be the same, either.

In fact, if you’re a female who’s considering divorce, you have a number of options about how to proceed. In general terms, you require to consider 4 broad categories of divorce options: Do-It-Yourself (DIY), Mediation, Collaborative and Litigation. Let’s take a look at the advantages and disadvantages of each one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The best suggestions I can provide you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

Divorce is really complicated, both legally and economically. You can quickly make mistakes, and often those errors are irreparable. The only scenario I can picture when a Do-It-Yourself divorce might make any possible sense, might be in a case where the marriage lasted only 2 or 3 years and there are no kids, little or no assets/debts to be divided, comparable incomes and no spousal support. In a case like that, a Do-It-Yourself divorce could be accomplished quite quickly and cheaply. Nonetheless, I would still highly suggest that each celebration have their own separate lawyer evaluation the last files.


In divorce mediation, a separating couple deals with a neutral mediator who helps both celebrations come to an agreement on all aspects of their divorce. The mediator may or might not be a legal representative, however he/she should be exceptionally skilled in divorce and family law. In addition, it is crucial for the conciliator to be neutral and not promote for either party. Both parties still require to talk to their own, individual attorneys during the mediation and prior to signing the final divorce settlement agreement.

Here are a few advantages and disadvantages to think about before deciding if mediation will work for you.

On the “pro” side, divorce mediation might:

  • Result in a better long-lasting relationship with your ex-husband because you will not “battle” in court.
  • Be much easier on children because the divorce procedures might be more serene.
  • Speed up an agreement.
  • Reduce expenses.
  • Help you remain in control of your divorce because you are making the decisions (and the court isn’t).
  • Allow for more discretion. Mediation is private; litigated divorce is public.

On the “con” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Lose time and money. If negotiations fail, you’ll require to start all over.
  • Be incomplete or unduly favorable to one spouse. If the conciliator is inexperienced or biased towards your partner, the outcome could be undesirable for you.
  • Lead to an unenforceable contract. A mediation contract that’s lopsided or inadequately drafted can be challenged.
  • Cause legal complications. Any concern of law will still need to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to uncover particular properties. Since all monetary info is willingly revealed and there is no subpoena of records, your spouse might potentially hide assets/income.
  • Enhance unhealthy habits patterns. If one spouse is controling and the other is submissive, the last settlement may not be reasonable.
  • Fuel emotions. Mediation could increase unfavorable habits of a spouse with a propensity for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples typically hear about the wonders of mediation and how it is reportedly a much better, less controversial, less pricey and more “dignified” way to get a divorce. My greatest issue with mediation is that the sole function and objective of the conciliator is to get the celebrations to come to an arrangement– any contract! Unless both celebrations can be relatively sensible and friendly (and if they can be, why are they getting separated???), I think that mediation is generally not a practical choice for the majority of females.

Collective Divorce

Basically, collective divorce takes place when a couple accepts exercise a divorce settlement without litigating.

Throughout a collaborative divorce both you and your hubby will each employ an attorney who has been trained in the collective divorce process. The role of the lawyers in a collective divorce is quite various than in a traditional divorce. Each attorney recommends and assists their client in working out a settlement arrangement. You will meet with your attorney individually and you and your lawyer will also meet with your other half and his lawyer. The collaborative procedure may likewise include other neutral professionals such as a divorce monetary planner who will help both of you resolve your monetary problems and a coach or therapist who can assist direct both of you through kid custody and other emotionally charged issues.

In the collaborative process, you, your partner and your respective attorneys all need to sign an agreement that requires that both lawyers withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if lawsuits is threatened. If this takes place, both you and your other half should start all over again and find new attorneys. Neither celebration can utilize the exact same lawyers again!

Even if the collective procedure is successful, you will normally have to appear in family court so a judge can sign the contract. The legal procedure can be much quicker and less expensive than standard litigation if the collaborative process works.

Though, I have actually discovered that the collaborative approach typically does not work well to settle divorces involving complicated monetary circumstances or when there are significant possessions. In collaborative divorce, just as in mediation, all monetary details (earnings, assets and liabilities) is revealed voluntarily. What’s more, many high net worth divorces include organizations and expert practices where it is fairly simple to conceal possessions and earnings.

So … as a basic guideline, my suggestion is this:

Do NOT use any of these very first 3 alternatives– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You think your partner is concealing assets/income.
  • Your hubby is prideful, and you have problem speaking out or you’re afraid to voice your opinions.
  • There is a history or threat of domestic violence (physical and/or psychological) towards you and/or your kids.
  • You or your husband has a drug/alcohol addiction.

Litigated Divorce

The fourth divorce alternative is the most typical. Nowadays, the majority of divorcing couples pick the “traditional” model of litigated divorce.

Bear in mind, though, “prosecuted” does not suggest the divorce winds up in court. The huge bulk of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement agreement. “Litigation” is a legal term significance ‘carrying out a suit.’

In 80 percent of cases, the choice to divorce is unilateral– one celebration wants the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, creates an adversarial situation right from the start and often disqualifies mediation and collaborative divorce, given that both approaches rely on the complete cooperation of both parties and the voluntary disclosure of all financial info.

Clearly, if you are beginning with an adversarial and highly mentally charged circumstance, the chances are very high that partnership or mediation may stop working. Why take the risk of going those paths when chances are they might stop working, squandering your money and time?

The most essential and most tough parts of any divorce are concerning an agreement on child custody, department of possessions and liabilities and spousal support payments (how much and for the length of time). Although you desire your attorney to be a highly proficient mediator, you don’t want somebody who is overly combative, prepared to fight over anything and whatever. An overly controversial approach will not just prolong the discomfort and substantially increase your legal costs, it will likewise be emotionally damaging to everybody included, particularly the children.

Keep in mind: A lot of divorce lawyers (or a minimum of the ones I would recommend) will constantly strive to come to a reasonable settlement with the other party. But if they can’t pertain to an affordable settlement or if the other celebration is entirely unreasonable then, sadly, litigating, or threatening to do so, might be the only method to deal with these issues.

If you have actually tried whatever else, and you do end up in court, things can get truly nasty and hostile. Up up until that point both attorneys were “negotiators,” trying to get the celebrations to compromise and pertain to some affordable resolution. Once in court, the role of each lawyer modifications. Settlements and compromise transfer to the back burner. Their brand-new task is to “win” and get the very best possible outcome for their customer.

And don’t forget, when you remain in court, it’s a judge who understands very little about you and your family that will make the final decisions about your children, your property, your cash and how you live your life. That’s a huge risk for both celebrations to take– which’s likewise why the danger of litigating is normally such an excellent deterrent.

Here’s my last word of recommendations about divorce options: Weigh divorce options thoroughly. The bottom line is that every family, and every divorce, is various. Undoubtedly, if you have the ability to deal with your partner to make decisions and both of you are honest and affordable, then mediation or the collective technique might be best. If you have doubts, it is excellent to be ready with “Strategy B” which would be the prosecuted divorce.

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