Solent Family Mediation assist households in conflict, especially those divorcing or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more cost-effective than heading to court. It lowers dispute, and your household stays in control of arrangements over children, residential or commercial property and financing.

We work right throughout England and Wales and our family mediation service has more than thirty years’ experience supplying specialist, expert family mediation services.

The 4 Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No 2 marriages are the same, and so it only follows that no two divorces will be the same, either.

If you’re a female who’s pondering divorce, you have a number of options about how to continue. In general terms, you require to consider 4 broad categories of divorce alternatives: Do-It-Yourself (DIY), Mediation, Collaborative and Litigation. Let’s take a look at the benefits and drawbacks of each one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The best recommendations I can offer you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

Divorce is really made complex, both lawfully and economically. You can easily make errors, and often those errors are irreparable. The only circumstance I can picture when a Do-It-Yourself divorce might make any possible sense, might be in a case where the marriage lasted only two or 3 years and there are no kids, little or no assets/debts to be divided, equivalent incomes and no alimony. In a case like that, a Diy divorce could be achieved rather quickly and cheaply. I would still extremely advise that each party have their own separate attorney review the final files.


In divorce mediation, a separating couple works with a neutral arbitrator who helps both parties come to a contract on all aspects of their divorce. Both parties still require to seek advice from with their own, individual attorneys during the mediation and prior to signing the final divorce settlement agreement.

Here are a few pros and cons to think about before deciding if mediation will work for you.

On the “pro” side, divorce mediation might:

  • Lead to a much better long-lasting relationship with your ex-husband because you will not “battle” in court.
  • Be easier on kids given that the divorce proceedings may be more serene.
  • Expedite an arrangement.
  • Reduce costs.
  • Help you stay in control of your divorce because you are making the decisions (and the court isn’t).
  • Allow for more discretion. Mediation is personal; prosecuted divorce is public.

On the “con” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Lose time and money. If settlements fail, you’ll require to start all over.
  • Be incomplete or unduly beneficial to one spouse. If the conciliator is unskilled or prejudiced towards your husband, the result could be unfavorable for you.
  • Lead to an unenforceable agreement. A mediation arrangement that’s uneven or improperly drafted can be challenged.
  • Lead to legal complications. Any problem of law will still need to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to uncover certain assets. Given that all monetary details is voluntarily divulged and there is no subpoena of records, your hubby might possibly conceal assets/income.
  • Strengthen unhealthy behavior patterns. If one partner is dominating and the other is submissive, the last settlement might not be fair.
  • Fuel feelings. Mediation might increase negative habits of a spouse with a tendency for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples typically hear about the marvels of mediation and how it is reportedly a better, less controversial, less pricey and more “dignified” way to get a divorce. My most significant problem with mediation is that the sole role and objective of the mediator is to get the parties to come to a contract– any agreement! Unless both celebrations can be relatively sensible and friendly (and if they can be, why are they getting divorced???), I think that mediation is typically not a viable choice for a lot of females.

Collaborative Divorce

Put simply, collective divorce takes place when a couple consents to work out a divorce settlement without going to court.

During a collaborative divorce both you and your other half will each employ an attorney who has been trained in the collaborative divorce procedure. The function of the attorneys in a collective divorce is quite various than in a traditional divorce.

In the collaborative procedure, you, your hubby and your particular attorneys all must sign a contract that requires that both attorneys withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if litigation is threatened. If this occurs, both you and your hubby should start all over once again and discover brand-new lawyers. Neither party can use the very same attorneys once again!

Even if the collective process achieves success, you will typically have to appear in family court so a judge can sign the arrangement. However the legal process can be much quicker and less expensive than standard lawsuits if the collaborative process works.

However, I have discovered that the collaborative technique often does not work well to settle divorces including complicated financial situations or when there are significant assets. In collaborative divorce, just as in mediation, all monetary information (earnings, properties and liabilities) is disclosed willingly. What’s more, numerous high net worth divorces include organizations and expert practices where it is fairly easy to hide assets and earnings.

… as a general guideline, my suggestion is this:

Do NOT utilize any of these first three alternatives– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You think your hubby is hiding assets/income.
  • Your other half is prideful, and you have trouble speaking up or you’re afraid to voice your viewpoints.
  • There is a history or risk of domestic violence (physical and/or psychological) towards you and/or your kids.
  • You or your husband has a drug/alcohol dependency.

Litigated Divorce

The fourth divorce alternative is the most typical. These days, most of separating couples choose the “traditional” design of prosecuted divorce.

Bear in mind, however, “prosecuted” does not mean the divorce winds up in court. In fact, the large majority of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement agreement. “Lawsuits” is a legal term significance ‘performing a claim.’

In 80 percent of cases, the choice to divorce is unilateral– one party wants the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, creates an adversarial circumstance right from the start and frequently disqualifies mediation and collective divorce, since both methods rely on the full cooperation of both parties and the voluntary disclosure of all financial information.

Clearly, if you are starting out with an adversarial and extremely mentally charged circumstance, the possibilities are really high that collaboration or mediation may fail. Why take the risk of going those routes when chances are they might fail, losing your time and money?

The most essential and most difficult parts of any divorce are concerning an agreement on kid custody, division of possessions and liabilities and spousal support payments (just how much and for how long). You want your attorney to be an extremely knowledgeable mediator, you do not want someone who is overly combative, ready to fight over anything and everything. An overly controversial approach will not just lengthen the pain and significantly increase your legal charges, it will also be emotionally harmful to everybody included, specifically the kids.

Keep in mind: The majority of divorce attorneys (or at least the ones I would recommend) will constantly aim to come to a reasonable settlement with the other celebration. But if they can’t pertain to an affordable settlement or if the other party is totally unreasonable then, unfortunately, litigating, or threatening to do so, might be the only way to fix these issues.

Up until that point both attorneys were “mediators,” trying to get the parties to compromise and come to some sensible resolution. As soon as in court, the function of each lawyer modifications.

And don’t forget, once you’re in court, it’s a judge who knows really little about you and your family that will make the final decisions about your children, your residential or commercial property, your cash and how you live your life. That’s a very big risk for both parties to take– which’s also why the threat of going to court is usually such a great deterrent.

Here’s my last word of advice about divorce alternatives: Weigh divorce choices thoroughly. If you have doubts, it is excellent to be prepared with “Plan B” which would be the litigated divorce.

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