Solent Family Mediation help households in conflict, particularly those separating or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more cost-efficient than heading to court. It lowers dispute, and your family remains in control of plans over children, property and financing.

We work right across England and Wales and our family mediation service has more than thirty years’ experience supplying expert, professional family mediation services.

The Four Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No two marriages are the same, therefore it just follows that no two divorces will be the same, either.

If you’re a lady who’s contemplating divorce, you have numerous choices about how to proceed. In general terms, you need to consider four broad classifications of divorce options: Do-It-Yourself (DIY), Mediation, Collaborative and Litigation. Let’s take a look at the advantages and disadvantages of each one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The very best recommendations I can provide you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

Divorce is very made complex, both lawfully and financially. You can quickly make mistakes, and often those mistakes are permanent. The only scenario I can picture when a Diy divorce may make any possible sense, might be in a case where the marital relationship lasted only 2 or 3 years and there are no children, little or no assets/debts to be divided, equivalent incomes and no spousal support. In a case like that, a Do-It-Yourself divorce could be achieved rather quickly and cheaply. Nonetheless, I would still highly suggest that each party have their own separate attorney review the final files.


In divorce mediation, a divorcing couple works with a neutral mediator who assists both celebrations come to a contract on all elements of their divorce. The conciliator might or may not be an attorney, however he/she should be exceptionally well-versed in divorce and family law. In addition, it is critical for the conciliator to be neutral and not promote for either celebration. Both celebrations still require to consult with their own, private lawyers throughout the mediation and prior to signing the final divorce settlement arrangement.

Here are a couple of advantages and disadvantages to think about before choosing if mediation will work for you.

On the “pro” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Result in a much better long-lasting relationship with your ex-husband considering that you will not “battle” in court.
  • Be easier on children considering that the divorce procedures might be more tranquil.
  • Accelerate a contract.
  • Reduce expenses.
  • Help you remain in control of your divorce since you are deciding (and the court isn’t).
  • Allow for more discretion. Mediation is personal; prosecuted divorce is public.

Nevertheless, on the “con” side, divorce mediation may likewise:

  • Lose time and money. If settlements fail, you’ll require to begin all over.
  • Be incomplete or unduly favorable to one spouse. If the mediator is inexperienced or prejudiced towards your hubby, the outcome could be undesirable for you.
  • Result in an unenforceable agreement. A mediation agreement that’s uneven or improperly drafted can be challenged.
  • Cause legal issues. Any issue of law will still require to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to discover specific properties. Since all financial details is voluntarily revealed and there is no subpoena of records, your other half might potentially hide assets/income.
  • Enhance unhealthy behavior patterns. If one partner is dominating and the other is submissive, the final settlement might not be fair.
  • Fuel feelings. Mediation could increase negative habits of a spouse with a propensity for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples often hear about the wonders of mediation and how it is supposedly a much better, less controversial, less costly and more “dignified” way to get a divorce. My biggest problem with mediation is that the sole role and goal of the mediator is to get the parties to come to a contract– any contract! Unless both parties can be relatively affordable and friendly (and if they can be, why are they getting divorced???), I believe that mediation is generally not a viable alternative for many women.

Collaborative Divorce

Simply put, collective divorce occurs when a couple agrees to work out a divorce settlement without going to court.

During a collective divorce both you and your partner will each employ a lawyer who has actually been trained in the collective divorce procedure. The function of the lawyers in a collaborative divorce is quite various than in a standard divorce.

In the collective process, you, your husband and your respective lawyers all should sign an arrangement that requires that both attorneys withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if lawsuits is threatened. If this happens, both you and your other half should start all over again and find new lawyers. Neither celebration can utilize the very same lawyers again!

Even if the collaborative process is successful, you will usually need to appear in family court so a judge can sign the contract. However the legal process can be much quicker and cheaper than traditional lawsuits if the collective procedure works.

However, I have found that the collaborative technique typically does not work well to settle divorces involving complex monetary scenarios or when there are considerable assets. In collaborative divorce, simply as in mediation, all financial info (earnings, properties and liabilities) is divulged willingly. What’s more, lots of high net worth divorces include businesses and professional practices where it is relatively simple to conceal properties and earnings.

… as a basic rule, my suggestion is this:

Do NOT utilize any of these first three choices– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You presume your other half is concealing assets/income.
  • Your partner is domineering, and you have problem speaking out or you hesitate to voice your viewpoints.
  • There is a history or danger of domestic violence (physical and/or mental) towards you and/or your kids.
  • You or your husband has a drug/alcohol addiction.

Litigated Divorce

The 4th divorce option is the most common. Nowadays, most of separating couples pick the “conventional” design of litigated divorce.

Remember, though, “litigated” does not imply the divorce ends up in court. The huge bulk of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement agreement. “Lawsuits” is a legal term meaning ‘performing a claim.’

Why are claims a part of divorce? Since contrary to popular belief, divorce usually does not involve two people mutually agreeing to end their marriage. In 80 percent of cases, the decision to divorce is unilateral– one party wants the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, creates an adversarial circumstance right from the start and typically disqualifies mediation and collaborative divorce, considering that both approaches rely on the full cooperation of both parties and the voluntary disclosure of all monetary information.

Clearly, if you are starting out with an adversarial and extremely mentally charged scenario, the possibilities are really high that partnership or mediation may fail. Why take the risk of going those paths when odds are they might fail, losing your time and money?

The most crucial and most difficult parts of any divorce are concerning a contract on child custody, department of properties and liabilities and alimony payments (how much and for for how long). Although you desire your lawyer to be an extremely skilled arbitrator, you do not want somebody who is extremely combative, prepared to fight over anything and whatever. An extremely contentious approach will not only lengthen the pain and significantly increase your legal fees, it will also be emotionally destructive to everybody involved, particularly the children.

Remember: Many divorce lawyers (or at least the ones I would recommend) will constantly aim to come to a reasonable settlement with the other party. But if they can’t come to an affordable settlement or if the other party is entirely unreasonable then, regrettably, litigating, or threatening to do so, might be the only method to fix these problems.

Up till that point both attorneys were “mediators,” trying to get the celebrations to jeopardize and come to some sensible resolution. As soon as in court, the function of each attorney modifications.

And do not forget, when you remain in court, it’s a judge who knows really little about you and your family that will make the decisions about your kids, your residential or commercial property, your cash and how you live your life. That’s a huge threat for both celebrations to take– and that’s likewise why the danger of going to court is usually such a good deterrent.

Here’s my last word of recommendations about divorce options: Weigh divorce options thoroughly. The bottom line is that every family, and every divorce, is various. Clearly, if you have the ability to work with your other half to make decisions and both of you are truthful and sensible, then mediation or the collective approach might be best. If you have doubts, it is great to be all set with “Strategy B” which would be the prosecuted divorce.

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