Solent Family Mediation assist households in conflict, specifically those separating or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more affordable than heading to court. It minimizes dispute, and your family remains in control of arrangements over children, residential or commercial property and financing.

We work right across England and Wales and our family mediation service has more than 30 years’ experience offering specialist, professional family mediation services.

The Four Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No 2 marriages are the same, therefore it just follows that no two divorces will be the same, either.

In fact, if you’re a lady who’s pondering divorce, you have a number of choices about how to continue. In general terms, you need to consider four broad categories of divorce options: Do-It-Yourself (DIY), Mediation, Collaborative and Litigation. Let’s take a look at the benefits and drawbacks of every one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The very best recommendations I can provide you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

The only circumstance I can envision when a Diy divorce might make any possible sense, might be in a case where the marital relationship lasted just two or three years and there are no kids, little or no assets/debts to be divided, equivalent incomes and no spousal support. In a case like that, a Diy divorce could be achieved rather quickly and cheaply.


In divorce mediation, a divorcing couple works with a neutral mediator who assists both parties come to an agreement on all elements of their divorce. Both parties still require to seek advice from with their own, individual attorneys during the mediation and prior to signing the final divorce settlement arrangement.

Here are a few benefits and drawbacks to consider prior to choosing if mediation will work for you.

On the “pro” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Result in a better long-lasting relationship with your ex-husband considering that you will not “battle” in court.
  • Be simpler on kids since the divorce proceedings might be more peaceful.
  • Speed up an arrangement.
  • Reduce expenses.
  • Assist you remain in control of your divorce since you are deciding (and the court isn’t).
  • Allow for more discretion. Mediation is private; litigated divorce is public.

On the “con” side, divorce mediation might:

  • Lose time and cash. If negotiations stop working, you’ll need to begin all over.
  • Be insufficient or unduly beneficial to one spouse. If the arbitrator is unskilled or biased towards your husband, the outcome could be undesirable for you.
  • Result in an unenforceable arrangement. A mediation arrangement that’s uneven or inadequately prepared can be challenged.
  • Result in legal issues. Any issue of law will still require to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to reveal particular assets. Because all financial info is willingly divulged and there is no subpoena of records, your partner could possibly conceal assets/income.
  • Reinforce unhealthy behavior patterns. If one spouse is controling and the other is submissive, the final settlement might not be fair.
  • Fuel emotions. Mediation might increase negative behavior of a partner with a tendency for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples frequently hear about the marvels of mediation and how it is supposedly a better, less contentious, less expensive and more “dignified” way to get a divorce. My most significant problem with mediation is that the sole function and goal of the mediator is to get the celebrations to come to an arrangement– any agreement! Unless both parties can be fairly affordable and amicable (and if they can be, why are they getting divorced???), I believe that mediation is generally not a feasible option for most females.

Collaborative Divorce

Basically, collective divorce occurs when a couple consents to work out a divorce settlement without going to court.

During a collaborative divorce both you and your partner will each work with a lawyer who has actually been trained in the collective divorce process. The role of the attorneys in a collective divorce is rather different than in a traditional divorce.

In the collective process, you, your hubby and your particular lawyers all need to sign an arrangement that needs that both attorneys withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if litigation is threatened. If this happens, both you and your other half should begin all over again and find new lawyers. Neither celebration can utilize the exact same lawyers once again!

Even if the collective procedure is successful, you will usually need to appear in family court so a judge can sign the agreement. The legal process can be much quicker and less expensive than standard litigation if the collaborative process works.

Though, I have found that the collective method often does not work well to settle divorces including complex financial circumstances or when there are significant properties. In collaborative divorce, just as in mediation, all financial details (earnings, assets and liabilities) is disclosed willingly. Often the spouse manages the “handbag strings,” and the other half is typically unaware of the details of their monetary scenario. When this type of inequality exists, the door is often wide open for the partner to hide properties. What’s more, many high net worth divorces include services and professional practices where it is fairly easy to conceal possessions and income. Additionally, the issue of assessment can be quite controversial.

So … as a basic guideline, my suggestion is this:

Do NOT use any of these very first 3 alternatives– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You believe your spouse is concealing assets/income.
  • Your other half is imperious, and you have problem speaking out or you’re afraid to voice your viewpoints.
  • There is a history or danger of domestic violence (physical and/or psychological) towards you and/or your children.
  • You or your spouse has a drug/alcohol dependency.

Litigated Divorce

The fourth divorce alternative is the most typical. These days, most of divorcing couples pick the “conventional” design of prosecuted divorce.

Bear in mind, though, “prosecuted” does not imply the divorce ends up in court. In fact, the vast bulk of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement contract. “Litigation” is a legal term significance ‘performing a claim.’

In 80 percent of cases, the choice to divorce is unilateral– one celebration wants the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, produces an adversarial scenario right from the start and frequently disqualifies mediation and collaborative divorce, because both methods rely on the full cooperation of both parties and the voluntary disclosure of all monetary information.

Plainly, if you are beginning with an adversarial and extremely emotionally charged situation, the chances are really high that partnership or mediation might stop working. Why take the risk of going those routes when chances are they might fail, losing your money and time?

The most essential and most hard parts of any divorce are pertaining to a contract on child custody, division of possessions and liabilities and spousal support payments (just how much and for the length of time). You desire your lawyer to be an extremely competent negotiator, you do not desire somebody who is extremely combative, prepared to battle over anything and whatever. An extremely controversial technique will not only extend the discomfort and substantially increase your legal fees, it will also be emotionally harmful to everybody involved, specifically the children.

Remember: Many divorce attorneys (or a minimum of the ones I would suggest) will constantly strive to come to an affordable settlement with the other celebration. But if they can’t concern a sensible settlement or if the other party is entirely unreasonable then, regrettably, litigating, or threatening to do so, might be the only method to solve these issues.

If you have attempted everything else, and you do end up in court, things can get actually nasty and hostile. Up until that point both attorneys were “negotiators,” trying to get the celebrations to compromise and come to some affordable resolution. As soon as in court, the role of each attorney changes. Negotiations and compromise move to the back burner. Their brand-new job is to “win” and get the very best possible result for their client.

And do not forget, once you remain in court, it’s a judge who knows extremely little about you and your family that will make the final decisions about your kids, your home, your money and how you live your life. That’s a very big risk for both celebrations to take– which’s also why the threat of litigating is usually such a good deterrent.

Here’s my last word of recommendations about divorce alternatives: Weigh divorce choices thoroughly. The bottom line is that every family, and every divorce, is different. Clearly, if you are able to deal with your other half to make decisions and both of you are sincere and sensible, then mediation or the collaborative approach might be best. But, if you have doubts, it is excellent to be all set with “Fallback” which would be the prosecuted divorce.

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