Solent Family Mediation assist families in conflict, specifically those divorcing or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more cost-effective than heading to court. It reduces conflict, and your household stays in control of plans over children, property and financing.

We work right throughout England and Wales and our family mediation service has more than 30 years’ experience offering professional, professional family mediation services.

The Four Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No two marriages are the same, and so it just follows that no 2 divorces will be the same, either.

In fact, if you’re a lady who’s pondering divorce, you have numerous options about how to continue. In general terms, you require to consider 4 broad categories of divorce alternatives: Do-It-Yourself (DIY), Mediation, Collaborative and Litigation. Let’s take a look at the advantages and disadvantages of every one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The best suggestions I can offer you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

Divorce is very made complex, both lawfully and financially. You can easily make errors, and typically those errors are permanent. The only circumstance I can visualize when a Diy divorce may make any possible sense, might be in a case where the marital relationship lasted just two or three years and there are no children, little or no assets/debts to be divided, equivalent earnings and no spousal support. In a case like that, a Diy divorce could be achieved rather rapidly and cheaply. I would still highly advise that each celebration have their own different lawyer evaluation the last documents.


In divorce mediation, a separating couple works with a neutral mediator who assists both parties come to a contract on all aspects of their divorce. The mediator might or might not be an attorney, but he/she needs to be very well-versed in divorce and family law. In addition, it is crucial for the mediator to be neutral and not promote for either party. Both parties still need to consult with their own, private lawyers throughout the mediation and prior to signing the last divorce settlement agreement.

Here are a couple of pros and cons to think about prior to deciding if mediation will work for you.

On the “pro” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Lead to a much better long-term relationship with your ex-husband because you will not “battle” in court.
  • Be much easier on children since the divorce proceedings might be more peaceful.
  • Accelerate an arrangement.
  • Reduce expenses.
  • Assist you stay in control of your divorce since you are deciding (and the court isn’t).
  • Enable more discretion. Mediation is private; prosecuted divorce is public.

However, on the “con” side, divorce mediation may also:

  • Lose time and cash. If negotiations stop working, you’ll require to begin all over.
  • Be incomplete or unduly favorable to one partner. If the conciliator is inexperienced or prejudiced towards your spouse, the outcome could be undesirable for you.
  • Lead to an unenforceable arrangement. A mediation arrangement that’s lopsided or badly prepared can be challenged.
  • Cause legal complications. Any problem of law will still need to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to uncover specific properties. Considering that all monetary info is willingly disclosed and there is no subpoena of records, your spouse might possibly conceal assets/income.
  • Reinforce unhealthy habits patterns. If one partner is dominating and the other is submissive, the last settlement might not be reasonable.
  • Fuel emotions. Mediation might increase negative behavior of a spouse with a propensity for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples typically hear about the marvels of mediation and how it is reportedly a better, less contentious, less expensive and more “dignified” way to get a divorce. My greatest problem with mediation is that the sole function and goal of the arbitrator is to get the parties to come to an agreement– any arrangement! Unless both celebrations can be relatively reasonable and amicable (and if they can be, why are they getting separated???), I think that mediation is normally not a practical alternative for the majority of ladies.

Collaborative Divorce

Put simply, collective divorce occurs when a couple accepts work out a divorce settlement without going to court.

During a collective divorce both you and your spouse will each work with a lawyer who has actually been trained in the collaborative divorce procedure. The function of the attorneys in a collective divorce is rather different than in a conventional divorce.

In the collective process, you, your spouse and your respective attorneys all should sign a contract that needs that both lawyers withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if litigation is threatened. If this occurs, both you and your husband need to begin all over once again and discover new lawyers. Neither party can use the same attorneys again!

Even if the collective procedure succeeds, you will usually have to appear in family court so a judge can sign the agreement. The legal process can be much quicker and less pricey than traditional litigation if the collective process works.

However, I have actually found that the collaborative approach typically doesn’t work well to settle divorces involving complex monetary situations or when there are significant properties. In collective divorce, just as in mediation, all monetary information (earnings, assets and liabilities) is disclosed voluntarily. Often the hubby controls the “purse strings,” and the spouse is typically uninformed of the details of their monetary scenario. When this kind of inequality exists, the door is often wide open for the other half to hide possessions. What’s more, many high net worth divorces involve organizations and professional practices where it is relatively easy to conceal possessions and income. In addition, the problem of appraisal can be rather contentious.

… as a general guideline, my recommendation is this:

Do NOT use any of these first 3 choices– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You believe your spouse is concealing assets/income.
  • Your spouse is aggressive, and you have problem speaking up or you’re afraid to voice your opinions.
  • There is a history or danger of domestic violence (physical and/or mental) towards you and/or your kids.
  • You or your spouse has a drug/alcohol dependency.

Litigated Divorce

The fourth divorce choice is the most typical. Nowadays, the majority of divorcing couples choose the “traditional” model of prosecuted divorce.

Keep in mind, however, “litigated” does not imply the divorce ends up in court. The huge bulk of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement contract. “Litigation” is a legal term significance ‘carrying out a suit.’

In 80 percent of cases, the choice to divorce is unilateral– one celebration desires the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, creates an adversarial situation right from the start and often disqualifies mediation and collaborative divorce, since both approaches rely on the complete cooperation of both parties and the voluntary disclosure of all financial information.

Plainly, if you are beginning with an adversarial and extremely emotionally charged situation, the possibilities are really high that partnership or mediation might fail. Why take the risk of going those routes when chances are they might fail, squandering your time and money?

The most important and most challenging parts of any divorce are concerning an agreement on kid custody, department of assets and liabilities and spousal support payments (how much and for the length of time). You want your attorney to be a highly skilled mediator, you don’t want someone who is overly combative, prepared to combat over anything and whatever. An extremely controversial approach will not just extend the discomfort and significantly increase your legal charges, it will likewise be mentally destructive to everybody included, specifically the kids.

Keep in mind: A lot of divorce attorneys (or at least the ones I would advise) will constantly strive to come to a reasonable settlement with the other party. If they can’t come to a sensible settlement or if the other party is entirely unreasonable then, regrettably, going to court, or threatening to do so, may be the only method to fix these concerns.

Up until that point both lawyers were “mediators,” trying to get the parties to jeopardize and come to some sensible resolution. When in court, the function of each lawyer changes.

And do not forget, when you remain in court, it’s a judge who understands very little about you and your family that will make the final decisions about your children, your residential or commercial property, your money and how you live your life. That’s a huge risk for both parties to take– and that’s also why the hazard of litigating is usually such a good deterrent.

Here’s my last word of recommendations about divorce alternatives: Weigh divorce options thoroughly. The bottom line is that every family, and every divorce, is various. Obviously, if you are able to deal with your husband to make decisions and both of you are honest and sensible, then mediation or the collaborative approach may be best. However, if you have doubts, it is excellent to be prepared with “Plan B” which would be the litigated divorce.

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